Confessions of a Tired Mommy

Wow!  I didn't know if I would make it through this week alive...but here I am blogging about it. 

Let me start by saying, I LOVE Lyla more than anything.  So much it hurts.  SO MUCH that I can't even put into words how much I love her.

That being said, this past week has been a hard week to be her mommy.  (BUT, I wouldn't trade it for THE WORLD!)

Starting last Friday, she started waking up at 5:30 in the morning, and did that 3 or 4 days in a row.  Okay, I was tired and not that thrilled that we were waking up so early, but I can handle that.  It's not any different than me waking up at that time for work, although I prefer to sleep in a tad bit later on my days off.  Anyway, that kind of told me that something was up, because she wasn't getting nearly enough sleep.  I started thinking that maybe her molars were bothering her from getting ready to come in, because I can see where her gums are swelling where those teeth are going to be coming in.  (And, I am NOT looking forward to it!)

Anyway, she was doing pretty well otherwise, besides waking up early, AND taking like 30 minute morning naps (as opposed to her usual 1-2.5 hour nap!).  Her morning nap is where I rush around to take a shower, brush my teeth and get ready so I can feel halfway human for the day.  Well, she cut that short, so I wasn't ever able to feel human to begin with. 

Then Monday she started coughing lots during her afternoon nap.  She woke up with a very runny nose, more coughs that made her wince in pain, and a hoarse voice.  Yikes, I was scared she had strep again!  That night she was in bed with us most of the night (and every night since) and was barely able to sleep, and she had a fever of 100.4 (taken with an ear thermometer).  The next day, took her to the pediatrician and got her swabbed for strep (always traumatizing for both of us).  Luckily, she did not have it, but the doctor did confirm that her throat looked sore and she seemed pretty miserable.  Not miserable enough to get a prescription though, so we just had to give her Tylenol and Motrin for the pain. 

So anyway, I had a sick baby.  What this means is, when Lyla is sick, she CLINGS to me for dear life every waking second of the day.  She whines.  She cries.  She throws things.  She throws temper tantrums.  I can't put her on the floor.  I can't put her in her high chair.  I can barely put her to sleep, that is, IF she sleeps.  I love her so much and I HATE to see her so sick and miserable...but it is HARD!  To top it off, Chad started planting season, which I dread every year since he works such long hours.  Needless to say, this wasn't a great time for planting season to start.  Most nights he got home after Lyla was already in bed (he wasn't thrilled with that either).

Some examples.  She has discovered that the toilet is full of water, and she loves playing in water.  Well, me being the mean mommy that I am, I won't let her play in it.  This makes her mad, she cries, sits down on the floor and tries to THROW herself back on the floor, which would mean her head SLAMS into the ground.  Usually by now I know when this is coming, so when I think she will try to pull this move, I put  my hand behing her head to guide her head to the ground so it doesn't slam. 

Another one.  I decided that we both needed to get OUT of the house and get some fresh air, after the long week we've had.  I decide to take her to the park.  What child doesn't love the park?  She cries the whole way there.  THE.WHOLE.WAY.  I give her a pacifier, it helps for several minutes before she throws it.  I'm smart so I have an extra pacifier up front.  I give her another one, which helps for another minute or two before she throws that one.  Still being smart, I have a sippy cup up front.  I give her that.  Take a drink, then throw.  I reach into her diaper bag for a toy, she throws it.  This goes on repeat until I run out of things to hand her.  I pull into a parking lot, gather the two pacifiers, sippy cup and collection of toys, and start this circus all over again.  (This is what all of our car rides have been like lately!)

Finally, we get to the park and she is an angel!  She had so much fun on the swing, the slide, playing in the tunnels and just walking around like a big girl.  If I was smart we would have stayed there all day. 

When I knew she was getting tired, and we got in the car and she fell asleep!   I felt like I was on vacation.  There was no whining, no crying, no clinging baby.  I turned up the radio and sang along and opened the moon roof and enjoyed my vacation!  I got some coffee, went to the bank drive through, dropped off a bag at Goodwill, dropped off some BeautiControl orders...my vacation was going great.  We get home and I think I'm putting exhausted sleeping baby in her crib to sleep for 2 more hours, but as usual, I'm wrong.  This baby isn't like most babies.  She is Miss I-Don't-Want-To-Miss-Anything, Even-If-It-Means-I-Never-Sleep, and as soon as I stop the car her eyes spring open and she is WIDE awake.  My mini vacation was cut short and crying, clinging baby was back. 

Fast forward to later in the day.  We went outside into our jungle of a backyard to stay sane.  I bought a water table from Walmart, and I put it together, filled it with some warm water from the house, and let her go to town.  She loved it!  It was so much fun that I didn't even notice that the grass was as tall as my baby.

Once we are done and she is getting tired again, hopefully for a REAL nap this time, I put her in the bath tub to clean her up.  She loves bath time, but something makes her mad so she tries to fling herself backwards in the water. Thank goodness I am quick again so I stopped her before her head went under, but then she was mad because I wouldn't let her drown herself (I guess?) because then she cried and fought it some more. 

My goodness!  What it must be like to be ONE.  It must be tough!!!

These were just a few shining moments out of our very long week.  As difficult  as it was at times, we did have a lot of fun too!

ANYWAY, I probably sound like a bad mommy, and I am making Lyla sound like a bad baby.  That's not the case at all!  She is normally so much fun, easy to please, and rarely cries.  It is just crazy how she turns in to such a different baby when she is sick and teething. 

I think that so many parents are afraid to admit how difficult it can be to be a parent, because they think that since we love our kids, we should be happy all the time.  Well, here I am admitting it--It's HARD!  It's wonderful and amazing and blissful and HARD all wrapped into one.  Admitting it doesn't make us bad parents...it makes us human.

THANK GOD tomorrow is Sunday so Chad will be home!!!